Logan Garner, you have achieved Subscriber of the Month status! Identify the elements in your life that helped you attain this noble title.

Huzzah! I recently set out to re-watch every episode of both the X-Files and Samurai Jack, which must have been noticed by some pretty important people.

You write a blog called Nerd Out With Me and your first name is Logan. Did you change your first name to be more like Wolverine? If so, we're officially on board with that life choice.

I do! And mostly, it's a swell blog... mostly. While I did not change my name, I was nearly given the name "Hershal" at birth. I like to think that the obstetrician in yellow spandex inspired my parents to opt for "Logan" instead.

Please describe the perfect evening of nerding out.

My perfect evening of nerding out generally involves dressing up as a robot and playing "Rock, Paper, Scissors" with C-3PO under a local overpass. That bastard 3PO throws paper every time. I'll get him one of these days!

How many ways has The Devastator changed your life for the better?

Well, for one, I get exponentially happier with every issue of the Devastator that I receive, which is excellent. I've also been getting uncontrollable urges to take my cats on harnessed walks outside while wearing fancy hats. Somehow I feel the Devastator wants me to do it...

What's your super-favoritest Devastator article or comic?

My favorite Devastator comic of all time is actually the first one I ever saw (no shit!), which was the victorian/steampunk-ish, "The Amazing Inspector Gadget: The Electric Policeman."  It was a beautifully rendered and ridiculous 1-page build up to perhaps the funniest punchline ever: "I--I can't move." It's the reason I first swore unending allegiance to The Devastator.

This is your megaphone to your fellow Devastator subscribers out there. What would you like to say to everybody?

You are all the cat's pajamas, Devastator creators and subscribers alike! And don't forget, with a little know-how, elbow grease and only trivial blood loss, you too can become Subscriber of the Month!

Want to become Subscriber of the Month? Leave a comment below and tell us why!

Not yet a subscriber? What're you waiting for?! Subscribe for 4 issues today and get a free "thank you" gift!

You did it, subscriber Jared Sams! You're our Subscriber of the Month for April! Now… who are you, exactly?

I like comics! So much so, I make some of my own! I write 'em and sometimes draw 'em, and I'm eager to meet Readers Like You at conventions and around town. Also: I believe Ryker would whup Han's ass, Destro is obviously a black guy. Scots be damned, and waffles are God's own perfect food and should take their rightful place at the top of the nutrition pyramid. That is all.

You're a comic book creator and artist. Tell us about your funny books! Are they anything like these Bazooka Joe comics we've been hearing so much about?

I've authored a couple comics in my fledging career as a comic book creator. One is titled Space Negro: The Last Negro, another is The Mad Muslim Mulatto. I always likened myself as the Bryant Gumbel of indie comics, so it surprises even me that the bulk of my comics are about angry black people. You can read some of my stuff at my website/blog/art thingee SPACEMANDEAD.COM!

We've seen you exhibiting in Artist Alley at comic conventions. Who was the coolest person ever to visit your table? Who was the most obnoxious?

EVERYONE who visits my con table is the coolest! Ladies and gents of fine taste and persuasion, who are able to look past the rabble and lock in on the superlative stylings of Spacemandead Comics or Ginger Rabbit Studio (http://gingerrabbitstudio.blogspot.com/). I won't name names, but my least favorite subset of convention goer is "Weird Old Dude Who Can't Stop Talking About Buffy." But who am I kidding? Those guys are awesome, too! Xander fo' life, holmes!

How has The Devastator changed your perception of reality?

I actually wasn't able to grow facial hair until I read my first issue of The Devastator. Then, all of a sudden, my voice dropped five octaves, I became a baritone in my local barber shop quartet, and I started growing hair. All. Over. My. Body. If you're really into braided taints, buddy, then meet me in the alley out back in five. Bring a comb.

What's your super-favoritest Devastator article or comic?

I think my subscription to The Devastator is current all the way to the dawn of the next century (ALL HAIL THE DEVASTATOR!), so I'm a big fan of everything they put out. But my favorite is an oldie but a goodie... "Fat Albert in 'Donald's Rusty Trombone." (From The Devastator #1: Cartoons, now out-of-print, but available digitally. -ed.) It was my very first Devestator strip and I couldn't believe what I was reading. I thought, "Finally! The homoerotic Fat Albert fan-fic I've been waiting for since childhood!" Does anybody else watch reruns of Fat Albert and the Cosby Kids au naturel with a tub of Crisco nearby? Just me? Pfft.

This is your megaphone to your fellow Devastator subscribers out there. What would you like to say to everybody?

Be creative! Make stuff! It feels super good! Also: Support indie peeps. It doesn't have to be me or anything (*kicks rock*), but lets be real here: indie books just do it better.

Want to become Subscriber of the Month? Leave a comment below and tell us why!

Not yet a subscriber? What're you waiting for?! Subscribe for 4 issues today and get a free "thank you" gift!

The Devastator #7: Spies hits subscriber mailboxes and bookstores in March 2013. The cover features a sexy illustration by sexy cartoonist Michael "Sexy" Kupperman. Also: Sexy!

Our mission, which we totally chose to accept, is to make fun of pop culture's greatest spies, like James Bond, Jason Bourne, and Boris & Natasha. (If you don't agree with that last choice, perhaps you are moose or squirrel?) Headliners include Laura Silverman, Dominic Dierkes, Todd Alcott and Brent Spiner!

Make sure you get your copy and subscribe today for 4 issues! You'll save 25% and feel better about yourself as a human being.

Bonus: The issue comes with a secret spy decoder for finding hidden messages throughout the issue!

Double Bonus: You can use the issue to cover your face when you're stalking enemies!

Congrats, subscriber Crystal House! Let's take a Fantastic Voyage into your mind! Tell us about your career, interests, and if you have one, your cat!

OK! I am a reality television editor and I do not include that among my interests. I am currently studying for my doctorate in Paranormal Studies. I have a wide variety of hobbies, most of them can be done inside with my cat. My cat's name is Rusty Shackleford and he is a flat faced Persian. Rusty's favorite actor is Bruce Willis. Rusty's favorite band is Led Zeppelin. We have different tastes in music, so we usually just listen to NPR when we are in the car. When I do leave the house, it is usually to attend a Star Trek function or to do some heavy drinking, or both.

Who is your favorite character in Star Trek: The Next Generation, and would he/she get along with your cat?

Commander William T. Riker is my most favorite Star Trek: TNG character. I wish he was my Imazdi, if you know what I mean, and I think you do. Riker is from Alaska, which means in the future, Alaska is probably less terrible.

Unfortunately, Riker has not had the best track record with cats. Data had a cat named Spot, who did not get along with Riker at all. I think Spot might be a little more aggressive than Rusty and I don't think it was Riker's fault. I should mention that Data wrote a very excellent poem called Ode to Spot, which I often recite to Rusty.

How has The Devastator ruined you for other magazines?

Since I started receiving The Devastator, other magazines just seem so floppy and lifeless.  I can't even tell the difference between other magazines and supermarket advertising pamphlets anymore. Everything goes into my junk pile except The Devastator.  No other magazine really understands my love for cats, pop culture and general nerdery.

What's your all time forever-favorite Devastator article or comic?

I think my favorite Devastator comic is "How it Feels to be a 30-Year-Old Geek" by Zach Weiner (from The Devastator #5: Fantasy).  He really captures the essence of something I have been complaining about for years. It reflects how I think a lot of Devastator readers feel and also makes me giggle. It reminds me of an X-Files website I used to love. There was a section where you could change the pattern on Mulder's tie, but it would take almost a half an hour to load each tie. It was totally worth it. Kids today will never understand.

This is your megaphone to your fellow Devastator subscribers out there. What would you like to say to everybody and/or their cats?

To The Devastator readers and their cats, I would like to leave you with a modified version of Data's Ode to Spot...

Though you are not sentient, Devastator, and do not comprehend, I nonetheless consider you a true and valued friend.

Also, cats out there, stop being so cranky when your parents are trying to clean your butt for you. We're just trying to help.

Want to become Subscriber of the Month? Leave a comment below and tell us why!

Not yet a subscriber? What're you waiting for?! Subscribe for 4 issues today and get a free "thank you" gift!

There are more comics, illustrations, photos and arts in this issue than in any previous! That's awesome for readers, but a hilarious burden on our server space. We're considering upgrading to a professional file storage service like ShareFile.com or going completely old school and have artists mail us their artwork in manila envelopes with the little string on the flap. The latter option wouldn't actually help us, but it's funny to inconvenience talented people for no reason. That's the first thing you learn when you become a Hollywood executive!

We're planning to release the cover online very soon, so stay tuned for an eye-popping illustration by cartoonist Michael Kupperman (Tales Designed To Thrizzle). The issue is slated to hit subscriber mailboxes by the end of March, and will debut at WonderCon in Anaheim, CA (March 29-31). We'll have a booth at this year's show, so you won't have to sneak around Artist's Alley to find us. Though if you want to sneak around in general, that would certainly be an issue-appropriate way to walk.

One more awesome note: Spies comes equipped with a red lens spy decoder! (See the banner image above for what it'll look like.) The spy decoder is exactly like the kind the CIA uses, only not at all! There are hidden messages throughout the issue, each one more important and vital to national security than the last. Can you find all the messages? I sincerely hope so... for all our sakes.

NEW ORLEANS -- Cheers were retweeted throughout the internet, as CBS announced it would make available a private web stream allowing Twitter comedians to snipe at only the elements of the Super Bowl they understood.

"Finally," said Twitter superstar @ROBLOVESBAGELS, "We'll be able to focus on the important things, like tweeting snarky criticisms of hypersexualized Go Daddy commercials we will later be using as link bait on our blogs."

In lieu of the game itself, the hipster-friendly web stream will just replay the 80's camp favorite, "The Superbowl Shuffle," over and over again.

Such programming explains why the phrase, "Looks like they ARE here to cause some trouble!" was independently tweeted by every single Twitter comedian over 2.4 million times.

--Written by Devastator Contributing Editor Asterios Kokkinos

Congratulations on receiving this soon-to-be-historic honor, Subscriber Dave Cutter! Tell us a little about yourself: your career, your interests, and especially, your dreams.

Hey guys! I'm an engineer and designer for the internet. I like to sail, ski, read, and practice karate. I also pretend to like learning french for my girlfriend, but it's tres difficile. In my dreams I like to fly, but it doesn't happen often enough.

Have you ever beaten someone up on a boat?

No, not yet! I have been threatened on a boat, but sadly it didn't come to blows. Someday I will have my boat fight, and not only will I win, but its going to be really snazzy looking. Think Karate Kid Crane kick with a sunset colored sky and wind-filled sail in the background. Awesome.

How has The Devastator completely changed your life?

The Devastator taught me things about Popeye that I did not want to know. Things I cannot un-know.

What's your all time forever-favorite Devastator article or comic?

I love playing the D&D type game "Wizards of C*ckblock Forest" from Issue #5: Fantasy! And not just because I win.

This is your megaphone to your fellow Devastator subscribers out there. What would you like to say to everybody?

I'd like to know if any of you are a good French tutor, or if any of you smaller, more fragile subscribers would like to go sailing.

Are you a subscriber who wants to become Subscriber of the Month? Leave a comment below and tell us why! Not yet a subscriber? What're you waiting for?! Subscribe for 4 issues today and get a free "thank you" gift!

"Where Do You Find Your Writers and Artists?"

Every issue of The Devastator features over 30 contributors, folks from The Daily Show, The Onion, Adult Swim, Marvel and DC Comics. Some contributors are friends, friends-of-friends, or people we've worked with at other publications. Others we met at pop culture conventions like Comic-Con, where we actively scout for new art talent. At times, we've reached out to notable talents via email or Twitter and ended up working with them.

However, I'd say 90% of the people in the issues we met at a Satanic Sacrifice Potluck that takes place once-a-week in Sherman Oaks, CA. On Friday nights, every Devastator couple (it's couples only, sorry singles!) brings various live animals to slaughter - goats, warthogs, ugly human babies, nothing cute. We pick one animal to sacrifice and the rest get barbecued! Afterwards, we play a board game, but never Monopoly. Let's just say editor Asterios Kokkinos is not a "Thimble Man." *Wink*

Let's also just say that the reason he hates thimbles is because someone dared him to suffocate an ox with one, and it almost bit his whole hand off! That's the comedy magazine biz for ya.

Got a question about The Devastator magazine, publishing, comedy writing or comics? Send it to us at editor "at" devastatorquarterly.com or leave it in the comments!

I can't help but think that, if I were one of the spies we're writing about, Valentine's Day could be different for me. Spies are all about sexy intrigue and sultry secrets, right? When I think of "erotic espionage," I think of Julius and Ethel Rosenberg, the couple who were convicted of sharing atomic secrets with the Soviets in 1953. I bet their Valentine's Days were pretty steamy!

This photo just screams "sex," right? That's because each individual Rosenberg is clearly filled to the brim with the raw, sexual energy that all real spies possess. Take Julius, for example...

If you've ever wanted to make mad, passionate love to John Waters and Droopy Dog at the same time, then this photo clearly screams, "DO ME." And what of Ethel?

Oh my God, you could cut the sexual tension in this photo with a knife (probably one of the unclean ones by the sink on the right). I just want to rip off that dress/shower curtain, bend her over the counter and whisper in her ear, "That trash can is getting pretty dingy. I bet we could find a nice one for cheap at Target."

You guys are ready for the sultry swimsuit shot, right?

I know what you're all thinking, "Come on, Baker! Enough with the cocktease! Show me that hot Spy Vs. Spy action!" You want it? You got it!

For those of you who are about to whip it out and go to town, have some respect. They're dead, you animals.

So what's the moral of this story? Real spies aren't sexy. Also, anyone who wants to join me at the Hooters in Burbank on February 14th is welcome.

This editorial by Contributing Editor Patrick Baker was featured in our monthly Digestator newsletter. You can sign-up for The Digestator here.