Wizards of Cockblock Forest: Adult Prom on Volcano Island
Our fifth issue of The Devastator saw a flip-book first for us: an honest-to-goodness, fully functional role-playing game called Wizards of Cockblock Forest. We're as proud of our mystical nerdscape as any we could have ever imagined, and for that we're happy to announce a supplement to the existing handbook: Adult Prom on Volcano Island!
Scenario: Adult Prom On Volcano Island
You’ve just entered the Public Rec Center on the beach of Volcano Island, a tropical isle which contains a hilariously active volcano. It’s mostly a ‘wand party’ with dancing, drinks and nostalgic/lame decorations like anti-potion posters and signs that read, “Harry Farter For Class Faaaaart!“ There are monster waiters in the corner, who Amari the Lonely Faerie tips so they’ll stick around and talk. In the room is a shady DJ playing hits from “NOW That’s What I Call Magic,” who Amari seems to dig, and Wizards outside on the beach are doing potions.
DJ Dumbledude’s Station: “Yo yo what?!” Song requests: $. Making an announcement to a special someone: $$. Any purchase comes with the warning that the volcano’s gonna erupt soon, yo! He also sells his own line of wizardware.
Beach: A bunch of Wizards cheer while a local Centaur downs a strength potion. They run away when the Centaur starts flexing, stomping and angrily whinnying. Defeat the Centaur and grab an abandoned charisma potion.
Faerie Circle: Amari flirts with 2 Phantom Waiters and 1 Jellycube Waiter, who think they have a real chance with her. Amari would flirt with the coat rack, if the talking pole seemed the least bit interested. Recently divorced, Amari hopes to get that “groove back” tonight, though emotional baggage might get in the way.
Phantom Waiter (Ghost): 2 BBP [Spooky Service: -7 BBP]
Jellycube Waiter (Weird): 3 BBP [J-E-L-L-NOOOO!: -5 BBP, lose a turn]
Juiced-Up Centaur (Drugged Man-Beast, everything wants to kill him!): 6 BBP [Stomped, Drop and Roll Over Dead: -8 BBP]
Items For Sale
Low Power: Song Request, Meteo Beer, Dope-Ass Gold Chain
High Power: DJ Announcement, Neverland Ranch Wine, Dope-Ass Dumbledude T-Shirt
Faerie (won’t marry another wizard, but sleep with another wizard...?): 14 SRP
[Weakness - Charmed: If combined Ugliness and Cowardice are >5, -3 SRP]
[Exed Out: Too much like Amari’s ex? -9 BBP, no talking to Faerie for 2 turns.]
[Thermo Emotional Meltdown: All Wizards In Room -8 BBP, Req: > 6 SRP, can trigger volcanic eruption]